Traumas happen. This is a fact of human life.
Everyone goes through trials.
Everyone.
Relationships are the most difficult thing to cultivate. Bringing two people together, raised with different ideals, passions, understandings, spirituality, religion, money management, parenting skills or lack of, is a huge undertaking.
Building a strong foundation is key to weathering any storms. ANY. But many relationships are not built on stability. They are built on money needs, status, expectations, neediness, confusion, or other emotions not pure of love and faith.
To co-create a relationship strong enough to go through betrayal, lies, mismanagement of funds, parenting trials, deaths, job loss, and other traumas, you must remove your masks. And, these things will come because we are all here to go beyond, to stretch our knowings, to try on ways of being, to learn from situations.
Be real with each other from the start. Have deep talks about the future, who you now, who you want to be, fears you have, excitements, all feelings and how you were raised - the good and the bad. Get this stuff out in the open now. Admit your dark sides. Your deepest darknesses and curiosities. Form an understanding between you two that you are knowing of the illusion, that trials will come, and that no matter what, you'll stand for the other.
Because tough times will come. The toughest!
Many relationships fold during them.
But to truly be WITH someone else, you must accept their failures, faults, and darkest sides. Because they will show and so will yours.
Foundation is key.
Build your relationship on being seen fully. But this is the tricky part and the key. There are things lurking in your energy fields that neither of you is aware of...and here's where we break. But knowing this about yourself and your partner will allow for the dismantling to occur and the holding of the strong base to rebuild from.
Knowing that the person you count on will someday mess up, disappoint you, betray you, hurt you, hide from you -- but your foundation is there, allows you to find compassion and come from love.
When trials come, you will be together, even if you're apart for a time.
A foundation of love withstands the strongest storms. You will rebuild with a deeper understanding of relationship and standing with someone, even if they've hurt you.
You can do this.
Traumas are a part of all of our lives. Be willing to be seen from the start so when the darkness comes, there's still a sliver of light.
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