To be able to truly listen to someone, to be there with them without interrupting, without wanting to change the conversation back to you, without helping, without thinking about what you want to say when they're through, without analyzing -- just listening is a gift to their soul.
People are not listened to. When they talk, the other isn't really there. They're thinking about other things.
Listening without agenda seems like an easy task, but most people need to practice this to be great listeners. Because most people want to fix their loved ones and friends. They want to "help". But fixing or even sharing your story that relates is not good listening.
When a friend or loved one is in need, in a tough spot, have gone through a traumatic experience, or are in the middle of a big life change - listening is the most loving thing you can do.
But how?
First - sit with your feet on the floor, take some deep breaths in and out together, and ground yourselves.
Second - be there for them - not judging, not thinking, not in your head about this issue, not wandering off in fantasy land, and not coming up with what you think they should do. Give your eyes softly. Nod if you must, but just let them talk. No interrupting, or audible anything.
Third - if they get stuck, gently ask them if there's anything else they'd like to say about it. That's it. No pushing. No asking specific questions. No fixing.
Fourth - when the person is finished, thank them for entrusting you and sharing with you. Tell them you are here. You will hold space for them to heal.
That's all.
But it's powerful stuff. Just listening to a person in their time of need or distress allows them to move stuck or traumatic energies. It allows them the space to heal. It allows trust in themselves and their process.
You can do this -- just listen.
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