Angie Azur is a YA Sci-fi Writer.
Writer for PALEO Magazine.
Former Intern at the Andrea Brown Literary Agency.
SCBWI & COWG Member.


Sunday, August 26, 2012

People, Places, and Things

I grew up on a small blueberry farm in the middle of the boonies with a bunch of rednecks who got pricked by jagger bushes n'nat, many of them drank melk and washed up with rags, pushed buggies through grocery stores, and loved watching Stillers football.




Yes, this is really how many Pittsburghers, especially in the outer regions, speak. To this day, even with speech and voice lessons, I still say probly instead of probably. I can get out of Pittsburgh, but I can't get the Pittsburgh out of me. But it's fine. When my friends say, huh? to something odd I said, I pull out my Pittsburgese dictionary and let them read.



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It's not only Pittsburghers that have created their very own inner circle language. Small communities around the world have odd words to describe certain things. In London, there is a small community where they call boots, daisies. There is a reason for this and if you know the answer - put it in the comments, and I let you know if you're right.

People from southern California often say the word "the" before describing a road. They might say, "You take the 101 to the 1". People from Pittsburgh never put a "the" before giving directions. They might say, "You take 79 to I90".


Knowing these small differences per region and small town helps ground the reader in reality. You, as the writer, want people who live in the same areas your characters live to feel like the characters are real people. If they say a word that is not used in that area, it will throw them out of your novel. They may even stop reading.


While working on REDWOOD BLOOD, I had a young reader in my targeted age range read the first 4 chapters. He said he really liked it, but the main character "wasn't from here." It threw me back. Why did my reader say this? Well, I was allowing my main character to live in Mill Valley, but talk like she lived in Pittsburgh. A classic newbie mistake. I hadn't done my research to know how the local kids spoke. I used what I knew from growing up back east. It didn't work.

Researching for my new book, THE LINK, I have tried to find links to slang in Alaska and slang in Oregon. It's taking time, but I am getting to know some of the local jargon. You too should research the way people talk to one another in the town you find your characters living in or moving to.



Here are some of the interesting words and meanings I found: They came from the Alaskan website below.

 

Going Outside: Leaving the state for any reason.
Lower 48:  The 48 states south of Alaska. 
Cheechako: Anyone new to Alaska.
Sourdough:  Anyone old to Alaska.
Cache (cash):  A very small, food storage cabin - elevated out of reach of animals and your kids.  
Ice Worm: Small, very tiny worms that actually live in glacial ice.  
Bear Insurance: Handguns .357, 44 magnum or better, Pump 12 gauge shotgun, or small, handheld nuclear weapons.
Permanent Fund: Money from the state for living in Alaska.
Tin Dog: Snowmobile, Ski-Doo
Bear Insurance #2: It's the best protection of all...always be with someone you can outrun.
Mukluk: No...it's not something you just stepped in out there on the tundra, but rather very warm, fur boots usually knee high.
The Bush: Places in Alaska you can only get to by plane or boat (that's almost the entire state).
Termination Dust: The first, light dusting of snow on just the mountain tops.  It's a warning - the first, really big snow is just around the corner.  This of course, triggers an huge shopping frenzy.
Cabin Fever: When Alaskans start bouncing off the walls, from being inside those walls, way too long in winter. 
Ditch Divers: All-wheel drive vehicle owners learning they can't drive fast on snow and ice. 
Arctic Entry: A pre-entry to your home where dirty, slushy boots, winter gear, mud boots, work clothes, etc... can be taken off before they're taken off 'inside' your clean house.
Mosquito Dope (aka Bug Juice): Mosquito repellent: spray, liquid, and roll on. Patches, bracelets, smoke rings, and citronella anything. 
Alaskan Sneakers: Waders - leg, hip, or chest waders.
Combat Fishing: Casting a fishing line where 1500 other people are doing the same thing at the same time.  Oh! and you only have six inches between you and those on either side of you.
Sing Song: Any concert, recital, or competition for singing.
Breakup: The process of all the snow and ice finally melting away marking the end of winter and the beginning of tourist season.




Some great websites for slang and/or local talk are these:




Talk like locals in cities around the world:  www.slanguage.com
American business slang: http://stupaul.net/aeo/now-slang.htm
American slang wrong side of the tracks: http://www.englishdaily626.com/slang.php?118
CB terminology and trucker slang: http://www.truckercountry.com/cb-terminology.html
Alaskan slang: http://www.untotheuttermost.com/Alaska%20Slang.html




The look of the people and the town:

Another aspect of the town or country that you've placed your characters in is the "look" of the people, and the places they live or work in. I mean, what do the people collectively look like? What vibe does the town give? What do the buildings look like?

Right now I am in Vermont visiting family. We've been coming here for over 20 years. In that time the people have changed, but not so much the town. The look of the town is still very much the same.


Vermont houses are big. They look like two houses connected by a lower level walkway. Many of these homes are over 50 or 100 years old. Some look Victorian, some like a barn, and some are log cabins. Many of them are run down. They need paint. They need weeds pulled, and cement steps fixed. Most have dirt, or gravel roads to get to them. The lawns are huge, massive areas of cut grass. And no one is ever playing in them.


The people have changed from thin, skinny, smokers. To overweight, in many cases obese, smokers. The fashion is tank top, cut off jean shorts, flip flops. It's difficult to find a healthy meal in town. Most foods are fried. And there are cigarette butts all over the ground.


The summer weather is oppressively hot. The winters are harsh. Many people marry early, as in 18 year-old grooms and brides. Most of these young families have 3-5 children. A lot of them are on welfare. It's become a depressed area. And yet, people gather. They hang out on their porches and shoot the shit.

You can drop by your neighbors house without calling first. Every kid is on a sports team. The whole town watches little league. People help one another. There is a feeling of cooperation and trust. Farmers leave food in baskets, with a box for your money. You take, you pay, you leave. Trust.


The surrounding lake is beautiful, with rolling green hills, and purple mountains in the background. There are parks, and free concerts. People smile and say hello when you pass by.



From all this description I've just give you, can you "feel" this town? Does it remind of you any others? Do you like or dislike it? Would you visit or not? Would your character get married young or do everything she can to leave? These are things you must think about when you write.


Things:

What about the things your character covets? Does she own a special necklace? Is it in style now, or really old? What about her room? What things are in there that will give your reader a tell about your character?

If I wrote that my main character in THE LINK, Seit, hid all of her artist brushes under her bed so her crazy Uncle wouldn't find them and sell them. What would you guess about her? About him?

What if I said, Seit loved to paint, but when her Uncle needed extra cash to make ends meet, she put her art supplies out at the garage sale. What do you think of her now?

The things, and how your characters use or hide them will tell a lot about your character.

The things in the town your character lives also give a full picture of your character, and how they grew up, or what they are dealing with now.

In Vermont there are tractors for sale in many yards. They are old-fashioned looking tractors, like the red ones in toy stores. Do you ever see tractors for sale in your town? In a city? With this small detail, you can let your reader know where your main character grew up.






So wherever your characters end up, be sure to know the local slang. Use these words sparingly, or your work may become dated. If used correctly, your readers will know exactly where in the world your character stands without much description.

Be sure to know the "look" of the people and the town, and be sure to know the things that make up the town and your main characters home.


Knowing these three things, and making choices on how you use them in regards to your characters will make your writing much stronger.



Good luck and as always,
Write~On
Angie


SCENE TYPES: How should they be used?


While working on my latest novel, THE LINK, I realized I had to go back and study scenes. Which at first, I thought, blah. But I found a few sites that were helpful, and used my notes from great writing teachers to fill in the rest. 

Below is what I discovered. Spice up your chapters by adding more interesting and complex scenes. 


Setting: Where are we? Well, where are your characters? Use your senses: Sights? Sounds? Colors? Textures? 


Atmosphere/Mood/Tone: The Atmosphere is usually created by the characters emotions and feelings. The Mood is how the reader feels when he/she is reading the words. And the Tone is the writer's attitude that comes through her/his writing. 


Voice: This is what makes the author's writing unique. It's the style, attitude, personality of the ms. 


Introduction: Who are all the players? What's the big issue?



Exposition: Necessary information, and get to the point as quick as you can. 



Transition: How do you move the reader and your characters from one place to another? Do it swiftly. 






Opposites: Two people from the opposite sides of the tracks come together and join forces. 




 
Preparation: What will it take to prepare for the task at hand?




Aftermath: How does the character react? What are the character's feelings about what just happened?









Investigation: The reader needs information and so does your character. How do they gather it? What is it? Is it revealed slowly, or dumped in someones lap?


Revelation: Something important - the ah-ha moment. 








The Prize: Something is given to, or found by the main character that can help she or he. It can be used as a weapon, or to uncover the key to what they need.


Escape: Your character must try to escape something. This could be escaping from his or herself. Or this could mean running from bulls. Whatever it is, they must try to get away.


Pursuit: The tables are turned and the character is now going after something. Think Finding Nemo when Marlin, severely afraid of the sea, loses his son and goes out on his own to find him. 


Seduction: The convincing moment. Someone is trying to get someone else to believe in something - could be true, could be false.


Love: Does it need an explanation? When two characters come together, and um...kiss, make out, flirt, fall in love. The main character must learn something from this interaction. 


Reversal of Expectations: In the beginning the character expects something or wants something and then something happens to reverse this thought or expectation entirely. 


Unexpected Visitor: Oh no, not Aunt Mae. Someone unexpected or unwanted shows up and does something to send the character into action. 





So, make sure your settings are believable. Know the surroundings that you place your characters in. Know how they will react to an unexpected visitor, or how they would prepare for a big day, and how they move from one scene to another. Make these choices when you write, and your writing will be stronger.

Write~On
Angie

Dialogue: Is yours believable?


While researching for my first novel, REDWOOD BLOOD, I studied the way tweens and teens talk. I listened to them in Starbucks. I sat next to them at parks. I even asked a group of skaters what some of their terms meant. Luckily my boys are still too young to be embarrassed by their mother. 







What I found is that in every group, or clique, there is a certain tone to their collective voices. So if I wanted to write about the skaters, I'd need to know some key terms like:

Air: To me and you, this means the stuff we breathe. But to the skater it means to propel oneself into the air without popping the board.

Bust: This could be interpreted a few ways to us, but to the skater, it means to execute a trick perfectly.


Now if I wanted to write a story about gamers, those who play video games. I'd need to know that:

Energy Bar: Does not mean something you eat. It's the indicator of the avatars current state of health.

Mule: Is not a donkey, but a secondary character used for more storage space for the stuff you want to lug along. 




This same idea can be applied to sports groups. Kids on teams have come up with specific languages to describe what's going on in the game. 




The problem with using any of the "in" terms is that you may date your material. Think about the words:



Cool: awesome
Gnarly: very cool
No Duh: come on, I know
Dude: addressing someone
Sike: not really 
Jam: to play music together
Psych: just kidding
Rad: awesome
Baby: cute girl
Dibs: to claim

Righteous: cool
Deuce: hot-rod : car
Daddy-O: addressing someone 
Knuckle Sandwich: fist in the face
Lid: a hat
Bird: a cute girl


Some of the above words are still being used, but many of them have been dropped or forgotten. If you try to use the word Bird for girl today, teens would not know what you were talking about. 




The other place I studied tween and teen terms was the movies. I sat and watched, taking notes, on a few great movies. One of them was THE GOONIES. 

The tweens and teens in this movie, believe it or not, do not have tons of dialogue. Here's a list of some of what they said, and how they said it.


  • "Slip her the tongue."
  • "Goonies never say die."
  • "The next time you take a test, it will be at another school."
  • "I pigged out."
  • "Slick shoes. Are you crazy?"
  • "Shame. Shame. I know your name."
  • "These are somebody else's wishes. Somebody else's dreams."
  • "For sure, Mrs. Walsh."
  • "Shut up Mouth."
  • "Senior jerk alert."
  • "Ah, shit."
  • "I'm setting booty traps."
  • "Sounds like Kong."
  • "Man. You smell like phys ed."
  • "How many more years do I have before I get fat? Before my hair falls out? Before I look like him?"

As you can see, some of these lines could be said by kids today, and some of them would date your manuscript. I don't hear many kids saying, for sure, or phys ed - it's PE now to my kids. Same thing, different saying. But that means everything when you are writing for tweens and teens. 


My suggestion for you is this:
  • research slang today
  • research the terms used within each group
  • pick those that seem less odd
  • use them sparingly
  • do not use terms you used to use in school
  • do not over do slang terms because in a few years they will have changed
  • watch the movies in your genre and take notes on dialogue


Write~on
Angie



Saturday, August 18, 2012

Interview with Sandra Carrington Smith: Author of Killer in Sight


   I met Sandra via Facebook. I love reading about people, especially when they've lived an interesting life such as hers. I also thought her books looked interesting, and so I reached out to her for an interview. She said yes! 

   Sandra comes from an amazing background of Voodoo and the Catholic Religion. Of course she became a writer. 


Below are the questions I asked her:



1.     What does the description “life-observer” mean to you?


I love to sit back and watch people as they go through their daily lives, and observe situations as they unfold. Each person has a story to tell, and each situation offers a lesson to learn, so I consider it a treat to be a witness to it all. It’s like getting cheat codes in the game of Life.


2.     You wrote poetry as a young person. How does that help you with your novels today?

I don’t write poetry any more, but I think one of the important things I learned from it is to pay attention to my characters’ feelings as the story unfolds.


3.     What’s the oddest thing a fan has sent you in the mail?

Luckily, I haven’t received anything odd, up to this point. However, I have received a couple of very cool gifts. One of them was a rosary described in my first novel, THE BOOK OF OBEAH, which I am using for the cover of THE ROSARIES, the novel I am currently working on. The other one was a beautiful spoon featuring the symbol that appears on the cover of THE BOOK OF OBEAH, and my initials beautifully carved to represent a snake.


4.     What was the most interesting thing about living with a devout Catholic Father and a Voodoo priestess Mother?

Exposing a child to a variety of beliefs allows that child to open his/her mind to, and respect, the beliefs of others. Given that I also had a grandmother who practiced Strega ( a traditional path of Italian witchcraft) made it even more interesting. In the end, the coolest thing to find out was that all traditions, and all religions, are merely different paths to get connected to a Higher Power. As we say in Italy, all roads lead to Rome.


5.     What time do you get up and what do you eat for breakfast?

My schedule varies with the seasons. In the winter, when my children are in school, I get up at 5:30 to get my sons up and ready; in the summer, when the only time I have to write is at night, I go to bed very late and get up very late the next morning. I rarely eat breakfast – coffee, plenty of it, is my first companion of the day.


6.     Why did you write the Book of Obeah?

Good question. Honestly, I don’t know. I always loved to write, but with young children, I never had time to really consider writing as a profession. I woke up one morning, six years ago, with a few sentences in my head, and wrote them down. After I did that, more sentences began to form in my mind, and Melody’s character began to surface. I didn’t know where the story was going, but as I wrote, it took a life of its own and I kept on writing. I didn’t even plan to publish it at first, but a series of strange occurrences led me in that direction, and here I am.


7.     What one thing is a MUST have on your writing desk?

I can’t think of anything in particular, aside, maybe, from a strong cup of coffee.


8.     Describe your writing in 5 words:

Uplifting. Suspenseful. Redeeming. Hopeful. Fast-paced.


9.     What is your blog about?

I don’t post as much as I used to, but I like to blog about life itself. I write about all kinds of things, and try to find a spiritual twist and a lesson into all of them. I guess most of my blog entries are about finding the sacred into the ordinary.


10.  Who is your biggest cheerleader?

Is it okay if I pick a few? My sister Patrizia is on top of the list; also my consulting editors, Dena and Sherrill; my agent, Natalie, and several of my readers. One reader in particular, Mr. Powers, constantly sends me notes of encouragement and appreciation, and although he struggles with his health at times, he will drive many miles to attend my events. Mr. Powers, if you read this, I hope you know how much your support means to me.


11.  What’s the funniest thing a fan has asked you?

“Why do you kill and hurt people?” (In reference to my writing, of course….)


12.  What is your perception of reality?

Life is a dream of our Higher Mind. As such, it can be changed by offering suggestions to our subconscious, the same way one would alter night dreams by changing daily routines. Stay tuned for this whole concept to be revisited in the final book of THE CROSSROADS SERIES (The Book of Obeah was the first book; The Rosaries is the second; The Key will be the third, and Dream Gates will be the fourth.)


13.  Any advice for newbie writers?

Don’t ever give up. There are many new tools available to authors, compared to even five years ago, so there is no reason at all to abandon your dreams. Take the time to do a little research, take everything with a grain of salt and focus on creating something YOU would enjoy reading. Another important thing…ask an extra pair of eyes to take a good look, possibly someone who’s not part of your family or in your circle of close friends. Honest feedback is vital, and good editing is essential.


14.  What’s the one thing you discovered about yourself that has changed you?

Probably resilience -- both physical and mental. The business of writing can be tough – many hours spent alone behind a keyboard, and rejection around many corners, can truly test one’s personal strength. I’ve discovered that I don’t need much sleep, and if someone doesn’t like what I write, I can accept their criticism without being crushed.


15.  How do you think the publishing world is evolving: For the good or bad?

My mind generally runs on a progressive gear, so my assumption is that even if it is painful to see bookstores closing down, digital editions are the way of the future. E-books allow people to read more, because they are less expensive and can be stored into a very compact space, and they are also eco-friendly. Anything that encourages readers to read more can only be good.


16.  Why did you write Housekeeping for the Soul?

My passion belongs with fiction; however, when I first got out there in the big, scary world of publishing, I knew no editor would give the time of day to a brand-new author they never heard of. 

My agent at the time asked me if I would be willing to write a nonfiction to open the doors, so I decided to give it a shot, especially since my blog posts were, for the most part, inspirational. I love all things spiritual, and after being a stay-at-home mom for almost twenty years, I am very familiar with housekeeping, so I married the two concepts, and Housekeeping for the Soul was born.


17.  If someone said, “Your writing changed my life.” What would they be referring to?

Probably to my motto: “A different perspective can change your perception of reality.” Life can be seen as the light emanating from a diamond. It reflects in different colors depending on where you’re standing when you look at the diamond, so if you want to change the light you see, all you have to do is shift from your current position.


18.  How can my blog readers help you to become an even bigger success?

If they like my stories, I hope they will help me spread them through word of mouth. People can communicate, today, like they have never been able to do in the past, so a good word shared with friends and family can literally go around the world.


19.  Do you belong to any writer’s groups? If so, which ones and why?

I do. I belong to one physical writers’ group, Triangle Area Freelancers, which meets in Raleigh the last Wednesday of every month, and to several groups online. 

I even founded my own group on Facebook, called WRITERS AND ARTISTS SHARE! We help one another by sharing the work of other artists and by offering encouragement and feedback. 

If you are on Facebook, feel free to join us, even if you simply enjoy the creative work of others. We can always use the feedback of readers and art enthusiasts.


20.  What one word best describes you?

Stubborn. Once I get an idea on my mind, I don’t let it go until I am fully satisfied with the outcome.



   21.  What’s the scariest thing you’ve found to be true in the Voodoo and Catholic belief systems?

Fear. In all religions. Fear is a tool that organized systems use to control those who don’t know any better. Fear screams directly at the survival mechanism connected to our primal instincts, and thus it can spread faster than a virus. My religion is to neutralize fear, in all its forms.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

90 Days to Your Novel Update: Day 20 & 21

Yes! I made it to the outlining day. Now I get to use all the writing I've done this far - which is about 150 pages - and I get to outline my novel. This is it! This is the day to get it down on paper.

An outline is a general description or plan for your novel with the essential parts, without all the details. Outlining is a great way to see if your novel has enough juice to fill the chalice. Or wine, in my case...ha. 

I've learned a lot from this book so far, and I am excited to show you what my outline is starting to look like. I've used my research I did on my characters, my synopsis of the entire novel, and the ideas floating around my head.



Below is my Outline:



Day 20 & 21: Outline: Signpost

INT: Scene 1: Contemplative/Interior
Setting: Alaska: Uncle Alakshak’s round hut
Characters: Seit, Uncle, camp kids
Purpose: to show tension between Seit and her new surroundings & Uncle
Plot: Seit rides in the front of an old pick up truck. What does she look like? She is wearing an old Sah pg. 45 (amulet of protection: The eye of Horus pg. 49) but she does not know it’s what it is. She’s always had it. On her way to the Camp = long drive, pot holes, animals, gets poorer and poorer looking, less people, more trees, then no lights on the roadway, dirt roads, through muddy spots, gets stuck next to a dump= the whole time Uncle talks about being and Indian and what it means / while Seit thinks inward about everything, the funeral, the packing of her stuff and leaving it in storage, what she was allowed to bring, how this place smells…differences / wants to go home / Uncle blocks her / why does her bloodline matter? How can it help with the Egyptian side?
She unpacks what little she was allowed by Uncle to bring with her from Oregon, after her parents died. He rocks in a rocking chair on his porch. The door is open. Camp kids peak in to see her. She’s done quickly, and sits down on bed, but Uncle calls her out. She’s exhausted, just wants to sleep, but he has tails of Indians he must share. Camp kids gawk at her clothes, make-up, and ask odd questions. She feels like a complete outsider.
Related to next scene? In this scene she feels like an outsider, but no one’s actually said that to her – next scene bullies try to scare her and say she’s not wanted at camp.
At stake? Seit becoming a loner – feeling depressed – lost
Conflict? Uncle wants her to follow the path he’s chosen for her / Seit wants to be left alone to choose her own path
Further develops plot how? Who is Seit? Who is she related to? Gets the ball rolling on those questions.

EX: Scene 2: Action Scene
Setting: firepit – in the middle of camp
Characters: Camp Kid bullies & Seit
Purpose: to complicate the plot with new enemies
Plot: Uncle sends Seit for salmon – it’s been hung over the fire pit in the middle of camp. She goes willingly, happy for the escape of him and his stories. But soon a group of older camp kids surround her. They threaten her. They don’t want her here. They know she doesn’t want to be here too. Up the attack = more serious She drops the fish – it’s covered in ash and dirt. One of them shoves her. She runs.
Related to scene before/after? Relates to 1 by showing how she does not belong here, relates to 3 more bad news – the medicine woman thinks she’s cursed – gives her a warning to leave
At stake? Bodily harm / dignity
Conflict? Bully who wants to be the chief and Seit, who he thinks wants the job too
Further the plot? Making it harder for Seit to stay / get her to go with Uncle so he will let her go to a real school and tell everyone she will not be the chief


Scene 2.5: Contemplative/Interior/Action
Setting: Alaska’s smallest town near camp / Mr.Gayle’s house
Characters: Seit, Mr.Gayle, Mindy, Lex
Purpose: to show Seit’s want of her old life / old ways & to meet new characters and show how good she is at art = she could have been great
Plot: Added scene = wants to go to a real art teacher, finds Mr. Gayle online, but he only teaches at school / or is he a private art teacher and Mindy and Lex are his other students? She is so good she blows them away = jealousy but ends up in friendships. Seit snoops / sees paintings of odd Egyptian symbols and Totem poles together. Strange…Mr. Gayle refuses to teach her since she’s from the camp = no point / she’ll not come back = but then she proves her talent and he takes her on if she promises to show up on time and try.
Related to 2/3? Show her contrast with feeling lost and knowing she’s good at something / meet new characters who might be on her side / 3= proves the medicine women has some talents
At stake? Her hobby / making friends if she’s too good / losing the last bit of herself
Conflict? Seit vs. Mr. Gayle / Seit vs. Mindy & Lex
Further the plot? She meets her new friends / she gets something out of it so she can bare what is happening in the other aspects of her life / gives a glimpse into Mr. Gayle = he knows more and is more than just an art teacher

INT: Scene 3: Dialogue
Setting: Loner Hut – far from the others
Characters: Anpaytoo & Seit & Uncle
Purpose: to get Seit to think about her past – to unsettle her more
Plot: Uncle makes Seit go see the medicine woman of the camp. Anpaytoo is in her 80’s and ½ Indian. Seit thinks she has Alzheimer’s, but her crazy Uncle believes she interprets dreams. Anpaytoo talks about art & the classes she signed up for = will keep Seit’s secret if she promises to try to see. Uncle explains to Anpaytoo all that’s happened to Seit up until now, then he leaves. He seems to have no heart. Seit wants to go, but she does not want to be rude. She stays and listens – not believing one word about her past and link to Indians.  medicine women more creepy = make her more demanding or see more for Seit to get Seit interested and conflicted
Related to 2/4? 2= more wanna be Indians telling her bad news / 4= agreeing to go to totem graveyard to not be a part of this nutty clan
At stake? Seit misses out on some important information about her bloodline by not listening
Conflict? Seit vs. herself / she does not want to believe any of this
Further the plot? Sets up the idea that there is more to Seit than meets the eye, even more to Seit that Uncle knows.

INT: Scene 4: Contemplative/Interior
Setting: Path toward Totem Graveyard
Characters: Uncle & Seit
Purpose: to grow tension between them
Plot: Uncle walks in front of her barefoot and silent. She can’t believe she agreed to do this – to go to this stupid totem pole graveyard with him to meet her spirit guide. But he did promise to leave her be if she didn’t see anything. She thinks about what she’d be doing right now if her parent’s seaplane didn’t crash. She thinks about her home, her things she had to leave behind. She thinks about the camp, no electricity, no laptop, no phone – the town, no mall, no real stores – just one store that sells everything from twists to horse feed to high heels. She longs for normalcy.
Related to 3/5? 3 =The reason she’s doing this is to get him to leave her alone about dreams / Indians / chiefdom. 5= heading toward totem graveyard, she’s getting more internal and more angry
At stake? Relationship between Uncle and Seit
Conflict? Seit vs. Self in that she does not believe any of this & Seit vs. Uncle in that she will show him how pig headed she can be
Further the plot? Getting deeper into who she really is – more mysterious

EX: Scene 5: Action Scene
Setting: Totem Pole Graveyard
Characters: Seit, Uncle, Bear
Purpose: to freak Seit out – to make her want to run away – to meet spirit guide
Plot: Uncle makes Seit smoke from his pipe and then he disappears, leaving her barefoot, and freezing in the middle of a fogged in totem graveyard. She calls for him again and again, but he never answers. So she warns that she will damage the totem pole. He still doesn’t answer. So she caves her initials into the wood. The tip of her pocket knife hits something metal – it’s a gold coin with strange pictures carved into it. She keeps it to sell it for a new laptop and to get electricity to the camp. Then a bear swipes claws at her. She runs – Uncle locked her inside the fence, and she knocks herself out trying to scale the fence.  ** The Link is a golden figurine of Egyptian descent but looking a lot like the Indian totem pole carvings on the middle totem, and a lot like the necklace she had as a baby (find it in her old house) dreams of her art school & friends, going back or being able to take classes again / knowing about her debut in NY is now given to an old rival in Cali = more hate toward Uncle and this obsession with his Indian blood

Related to 4/6? 4= her anger and anxiety about doing this lead her to cut the totem / 6= her spirit guide shows up after she’s smoked in this scene
At stake? Relationship with Uncle / self-control / damaging the totem
Conflict? Seit vs. Uncle = take her anger out on his favorite totem
Further the plot? More mysterious / Peaks Seit’s interest / gets her to run away / research the link and her bloodline

EX: Scene 6: Dialogue/Action
Setting: Totem Pole Graveyard
Characters: Seit & Bear
Purpose: Establish the link between her and her bear
Plot: Seit wakes up who knows how long later. The bear is still there, but just sits staring at her. It has her gold coin in its mouth. She yells at it – it does not move. She stands. It stands and starts to mosey away. Seit wants that coin. She wants a plane ticket out of here and a new laptop. She follows. The bear takes her to another door – a wooden door – where it pounds on it until it opens. Then it tosses the coin out. Seit runs out too and slams the door shut. The bear does not try to follow her. Seit runs home – ready to fight with Uncle.
Related to 5/7? 5= she is still in the graveyard with the bear / 7= fights with Uncle about the bear
At stake? Her beliefs / losing the coin that will get her something she wants
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = does she believe this is here spirit guide or just some random bear & Seit vs. Bear = to get the coin back
Further the plot? Deepens the belief in spirit guides and that Seit is a part of the old blood


EX:/INT: Scene 7: Dialogue
Setting: Camp
Characters: Seit, Uncle, and random campers
Purpose: to show Seit’s feisty – and Uncles wisdom
Plot: Seit enters the camp angry as ever. Sees Uncle cooking with the group of campers. She marches to him, fuming. She screams he locked her inside with a man-eating bear. The campers hush. Uncle claps – very proud. Seit is more infuriated. She tells him and them what she really thinks about their wanna be Indian crap. She storms off to her hut to pack. She’ll run away in the night – go back home somehow and never be seen again. up this fight – does she get violent? Does she say unthinkable things? Does she hurt the whole camp wanna be group? / uncle smiles and is happy she met her guide / make him more wise than she is able to see = what could he say at this moment of great despair that readers would get but the MC will not?
Related to 6/8? 6= bear creates a fight between her and Uncle / 8= runs away due to the fight and not fitting in and not wanting to believe
At stake? Relationship between Seit and Uncle / offending campers
Conflict? Seit vs. Uncle
Further the plot? Creates deeper tension propelling her away from who she is and her only family member left


INT:/EX: Scene 8: Action
Setting: Seaplane Airport
Characters: Seit and Pilot
Purpose: to show she can get over a fear / but makes questionable choices
Plot: Seit makes it to the seaplane airport – the one her parents used all the time. She begs the pilot to take her home – she plays on his sadness about her parents. He agrees. They fly for hours in a storm – a bad one. Then they land and she asks him for some money for a cab. He gives in. She goes to her old house – but does not know the realtor already sold it. Uncle never told her – probably used the money for firewood. She’s angry. Does her spirit guide show her how her parents died? Was it the ESS?
Related to 7/9? 6=the fight propelled her to this point / 9=shows that she doesn’t belong to her old world now either
At stake? Lying to the pilot / getting hurt / getting lost
Conflict? Seit vs. Seaplane = can she get on one after her parents died in one
Further the plot? Shows she is brave / will help get her over wanting to go home


INT: Scene 9: Dialogue/Action
Setting: Her old home in Oregon
Characters: Seit & New Owner
Purpose: to show her she can’t go backwards – only forwards
Plot: Seit finds the key she hid, opens the door and sneaks into her old kitchen, up the stairs and into her bedroom. The house is different. The smells are different. All her pictures are gone – but she finds hidden drawings and cards from her parents in her wall of her bedroom. She’s so overcome with emotion – she doesn’t hear the new homeowner. He comes at her with a bat. He chases her out. She is able to keep one card. She runs away to her favorite café.
She finds her old hidden box of young collections = her bracelet with the same Link symbol / drops the rest of her prizes but gets the bracelet out
Related to 8/10? 8=build up in her mind about going home is a let down / 10=creeped out in the café even though it used to be her place / email scares her too
At stake?  Her memories / longing to be home again
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = she wants to go back, but can’t & Seit vs. Owner = she is kicked off her home
Further the plot? Get her back to camp / to make her research who she is



INT: Scene 10: Contemplative/Dialogue
Setting: Oregon Cafe
Characters: Seit, waiter & ESS girl
Purpose: to creep Seit out – make her want to call Uncle
Plot: The café feels warm and smells familiar. Seit takes her usual seat on the couch next to a girl with odd tattoos. They smile a hello. Seit pulls out the card – it has drawings of hers from when she was little and a note from her mother and father. The tattooed girl seems overly interested. The waiter comes to talk with Seit – asks about Alaska and how it’s going. Seit asks to borrow his laptop. He gets her drink and computer. She has an email from someone in Egypt about the coin. How did they know about it? Weird. The tattooed girl attempts more conversation – noticing the coin email. Seit starts to feel paranoid. She goes to the phone and dials the seaplane place in Alaska – tells him to get a message to Uncle – to come get her. New girl is the waitress and old waiter was fired, per her / she allows Seit to use her computer = creepy stuff about the LINK in an email / new girl gets passwords and email account from her using it
Related to 9/11? 9=home doesn’t feel like home anymore it’s more dangerous / 11=prompted by the weirdness of the girl, the bear, and going home she starts searching for the coin
At stake? Losing her coin / giving too much away / getting hurt
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = should she go back to camp / Seit vs. Tattooed girl = why is she so in her business
Further the plot? More mystery surrounds the coin / odd girl / weird email from Egypt


EX: Scene 11: Dialogue
Setting: School
Characters: Seit, Mindy, Lex
Purpose: to find out more about the coin
Plot: Seit confides in Mindy & Lex after they grill her about running away. She shows them the coin – and they do some digging on the computer. Their interest sends more alerts to the ESS. Seit tells them about the weird tattooed girl and how she felt like she wanted information. Could the coin be something serious? How much can it be worth? They discover a small note about the ESS and their beliefs in the 5 coins – 4 have been reclaimed. 1 remains. Could it be her coin? They discuss bloodlines too – why her Uncle is so obsessed with Indians. Comic relief. This makes Seit more curious to her bloodline. She receives more emails from mystery person in Egypt.
Every site she’s directed to shows tons of these statues = bogus sites & her friends find out some interesting info at the local library + Mr. Gayle has some odd old papers in his locked drawer / also more odd paintings with symbols / Seit feels drawn to them

Related to 10/12? 10=tattooed girl gets Seit more interested in the coin / 12=Seit is in school with Mindy & Lex
At stake? Mindy & Lex thinking she’s nuts / her coin
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = should she trust them?  Who is she?
Further the plot? More information about the coin / gets Seit some helpers


EX: Scene 12: Dialogue/Action
Setting: School/Art Room
Characters: Seit, Mr. Gayle, Mindy, Lex, Class
Purpose: to add more mystery to Seit’s bloodline link
Plot: The assignment is to copy Egyptian symbols – they are studying Egypt and making art projects with that in mind. Seit finishes first – she never finishes first – her artwork is never great – it’s so-so. One kid warns her that she’ll tell that’s she’s not supposed to be here. Mr. Gayle shows concern and has Seit stay after. Mindy and Lex go on ahead to lunch. Mr. Gayle asks Seit to close her eyes and he says the name of an Egyptian symbol – she draws it perfectly – she doesn’t know how she’s doing it. Then the fire alarm is pulled – and everyone exits the school.
wants to fly under the radar to not let Uncle know she’s been paying for private art lessons with “camp” funds / which is really her money
Related to 11/13? 11=meet Mindy & Lex / 13=she feels like she’s something special, maybe could belong here then the bullies take that away from her   
At stake? Being weird / being hated by other kids / getting too much attention / getting told on
Conflict? Seit vs. tattle-tale = might get kicked out of school / Seit vs. self = how is she doing it?
Further the plot? Makes Seit more interesting/ maybe she is special

INT: Scene 13: Dialogue
Setting: Camp
Characters: wanna be Indian gang, Seit, Uncle
Purpose: to push Seit away from here / up the tension
Plot: The bullies corner Seit when she comes home from school. They threaten to tell on her – to get her kicked out. She must tell Uncle she will not be the next chief. She must denounce her blood link. They push her. But this time she pushes back. She gets hit – and her mouth bleeds. She runs. Hiding it from Uncle. And they get into another fight.
burn her art books? The only things left of her Mom & Dad? Burn her pictures?
Related to 12/14? 12=she’s finally feeling like she might belong here then they take that away again / 14=she’s questioning herself again when her spirit guide shows up to prove to her that something is odd about the coin
At stake? Body harm / feelings
Conflict? Seit vs. Bully = physical fight / Seit vs. Self = negative thinking that she does not belong
Further the plot? Does not let her get comfortable


EX: Scene 14: Interior
Setting: Camp - hut
Characters: Seit, Bear
Purpose: to guide her toward her destiny
Plot: Seit is ready for sleep. She keeps the coin on her at all times – paranoid that someone will try to take it, especially after the continuous emails from someone in Egypt. Her mind is going over everything – the events and the bear appears at the window. Seit jumps – but does not wake Uncle. She creeps to the door and goes outside. The bear pounds the earth – in a threatening way, but Seit does not know why. He growls. She backs up. He starts to walk off, and when she doesn’t follow, he pounds the ground again. She gets it and follows – they go all the way back to the totem graveyard. He paws at the lock – Seit’s not sure what to do – she doesn’t have a key. He growls again. She looks closer at the lock – it’s got a symbol on it. One that matches the coin – the woman with wings. Then he disappears. Seit hurries back to the hut.
Related to 13/15? 13=she is questioning herself again but her spirit guide makes her see beyond the bully / 15=
At stake? Dying out in the woods following a crazy bear / her sanity / getting caught by the bullies
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = does she believe in this stuff. Will she?
Further the plot? Shows more of a link the link has to the totem graveyard / like it was made for it?


INT:/EX: Scene 15: Action
Setting: School
Characters: Seit, Mindy, Lex, Cleaning Person
Purpose: to force them out of Alaska / thicken the plot
Plot: Seit, Mindy, and Lex come up with a plan to steal money from the art fund to buy their tickets to Egypt. The money sits in a huge glass donation jar at school in the middle of the lunchroom. They will break in after hours, and steal it. They dress in black – Seit darkens her face and covers her blond hair. Mindy braids hers, and wears long black gloves. Lex is in a track suit and ski cap. They break in – cleaning person hears something – almost busts them – they crack the glass – coins go everywhere – they grab the cash – stuff it into pockets – keep going until the cleaning person runs at them with a mop – pulls the fire alarm. She gets them caught for stealing from Mr. Gayle = major disappointment and no show in town for her art and then money shows up from Egypt) wants to go to Egypt, to meet with whoever has been emailing her, wants to steal money for plane tickets / busted by cleaning person? Yolanda? Does she stop her? Call the cops?
Related to 14/16? 14=pushes her to go to Egypt to find out more / 16=fight with Uncle
At stake? Trust by Uncle and camp / friends by getting them caught / school time if they get caught / Trust by Mr. Gayle
Conflict?  Seit vs. Mr. Gayle = his art supply money / Seit vs. Uncle = his money / Seit vs. Self = is this the right thing?
Further the plot? She in too deep to turn around / steeling money = get tickets and go


INT: Scene 16: Dialogue
Setting: Camp
Characters: Seit, Uncle
Purpose: To escalate tension between them
Plot: Uncle Alaska sits Seit down to seriously talk about the tribe. She laughs. It’s not tribe, it’s a bunch of wanna bes going no where. Uncle is hurt. He lays into her about responsibility and family. She screams back that her parents are dead because of him and his stupid camp. They were bringing him supplies. They felt bad for him, keeping him as a pet, like a puppy. Where’s all the money for her house? Why can’t he make this place nicer? Who would want to live like this? People aren’t going to go backwards. He can’t stop computers and cell phones with forty-five losers. He dismisses her. She doubles back – spying on him, hoping he’ll go for the money and he does. She waits until he leaves, and steals it – buys her Egypt tickets – booked for the next day. Mr. Gayle so disappointed & so hurt = no art show for Seit / he had 100 people coming and tickets being sold for raffle of her painting / it was a surprise
Related to 15/17? 15=steal money from Uncle then fight with him about everything she hates to make it all right in her mind that she stole / 17=Uncle trying to keep her at camp as she runs away again
At stake? Relationship with Uncle / herself
Conflict? Seit vs. Uncle = fights with him / Seit vs. Self = she is becoming mean to cover up stealing
Further the plot? She must go because the money / she needs to go to not get caught


EX: Scene 17: Action
Setting: Airport  (is there one in Alaska? Maybe stick to seaplane)
Characters: Seit, Mindy, Lex, Uncle, ESS airport guard
Purpose: kill Uncle and make Seit feel guilty
Plot: Seit borrows Mr. Gayles car – gets Mindy and Lex at the town laundry mat. They hightail it to the airport. Uncle finds his money missing and sees Seit’s clothes gone. He calls the Seaplane, but the pilot denies helping Seit. He heads to the airport on a hunch. He sees them in the long hallway – right before security. He runs toward them, yelling for Seit. She sees him and pushes ahead of a group. A security guard tackles Uncle. Seit feels relieved, but then Uncle struggles with him as she passes security. She can’t go back to help or explain. The plane is getting ready to take off – she is pushed forward, but as the door closes – a gun goes off. Uncle falls. She tries to get off the plane, but they won’t allow her. The whole plane is ESS. Uncle is grabbed by a security guard / taken away in handcuffs / captured by the ESS / hit hard once in front of Seit = he goes down
Related to 16/18? 16=fight with Uncle but now he tries to save her / 18=Uncle gets hurt because of her / killed
At stake? Uncle’s life
Conflict? Seit vs. Uncle = he chases after her / Seit vs. Plane = won’t let her off to help him
Further the plot? More mysterious / who is the guard? Is uncle all right? Who is on the plane with them?


INT: Scene 18: Dialogue/Interior
Setting: Aboard the Plane to Egypt
Characters: Seit, Mindy, Lex & Flight Attendant & Bear
Purpose: heighten suspense
Plot: Seit is frantic. She pleads with the flight attendants, but they will not re-open the doors. flight attendants will not allow her = overly odd / overly kind like to a baby / give her something to calm her nerves and she goes out = sees her spirit guide and this time listens & learns
The flight takes off and she is crying – screaming to get off. Finally the attendant gives her something to calm her down & she’s knocked out. While sleeping, she meets her spirit guide. He is agitated. He shakes his head, and paces. He draws a symbol in the dirt, then scratches it out. He does this over and over until Seit wakes. They are landing – and there are flashing lights and what look like cops cars all over the runway.
Related to 17/19? 17=Uncle just got hurt / 18=cops are there for her
At stake? Uncle’s health / Seit wanting to be in Egypt / her life / her friends
Conflict? Seit vs. Flight Attendants = won’t let her off the plane / Seit vs. Self = wondering what she has done
Further the plot? Who are the cops? What happened to Seit’s Uncle? Everything becomes more serious. And everyone on the plane has the tattoo of the link.


EX: Scene 19: Action
Setting: Air Strip Egypt
Characters: Seit, Mindy, Lex & ESS guards
Purpose: heighten suspense / tension
Plot: The plane lands. But they keep the passengers on – then four ESS agents come on board and escort Seit, Mindy, and Lex off. They won’t explain why – Seit tries to get some information – but they bully her to the cars. Then the anti-ESS group tries to intercept them – grabs Lex – but misses Seit and Mindy. The ESS SUV’s take off while Seit and Mindy are blindfolded and tied down.
Related to 18/20? 18=the end of the flight / 20=ESS agents are reprimanded so Seit feels her “brother” cares.
At stake? Being kidnapped / the link being discovered / Lex being lost
Conflict? Seit vs. ESS agents
Further the plot? Who has Lex? Who are the ESS agents and why are they being so rough with them? What’s going to happen?


EX:/INT:  Scene 20: Internal/Dialogue
Setting: Brother’s Palace
Characters: Seit, Mindy, Brother, dancers and dinner goers
Purpose: to confuse Seit / brother relationship
Plot: Brother acts very upset that Seit and Mindy were tied and blinded. He orders them released immediately and washed up and dressed in full royal garb. They are treated like two princesses – then a royal dinner is put on with strange, exotic foods – some scary, some wonderful and colorful. There is dancing and brother talks with Seit – flirting with Mindy – and putting on his best show. Seit shows him the link. He says she should keep it safe. Where is Lex? Who took him? Brother and others lie…
Related to 19/21? 19=ESS agents, but now they are reprimanded / 21=Seit is wrestling with trust with her new brother
At stake? Losing Lex / Giving up the Link / Seit making the wrong choice
Conflict? Seit vs. Brother = is he telling the truth? / Seit vs. ESS agents = as they are reprimanded she gets the suspicion that they thought they were doing as they were told
Further the plot? New family connection / more understanding of the Link and her bloodline


EX: Scene 21: Interior/contemplative
Setting: Bedroom in Palace – Seit’s
Characters: Seit, Mindy – guard outside door
Purpose: tension between Mindy and Seit
Plot: Seit and Mindy argue over going after Lex. Seit is trying to believe her new found family member – Mindy does not trust them. Mindy leaves to her room – Why are there guards? If brother is so trustworthy – why the guards? She was allowed to keep the coin, maybe the guards are so no one comes in to steal it. She makes excuses for brother. She wants to believe him – but she is unsure. brother overly nice and showing Lex as a bad kid = showing her fake arrest sheet and him wanting the money from her LINK
Related to 20/22? 20=trusting brother good? / 22=brother promises to bring back parents / Uncle is dead
At stake? Friendship with Mindy / their lives / losing Seit’s last blood link
Conflict? Seit vs. Mindy = to believe or not believe her brother and find Lex
Further the plot? Deepen the plot / whose side should Seit choose?


INT: Scene 22: Dialogue
Setting: interior great pyramid
Characters: Seit, brother, guards
Purpose: to lure Seit in more / up tension between Seit and Mindy
Plot: Brother has Mindy detained and shows Seit her parent’s bodies and uncle’s body wrapped in cloth. He promises that she can bring them back – once she places the coin in the last slot – and joins her blood with his. Seit is crying – wants to see her parents again, feels so guilty about Uncle – she agrees – and the ceremony will start tomorrow – during a dark moon
Related to 21/23? 21=trust issues with brother / 23=show that brother is untrustworthy
At stake? Seit’s parents and uncle / magic of Egypt
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = grief over Uncle and parent’s death / doing the right thing / helping her new brother and Egypt
Further the plot? Stacking the deck so Seit will choose to give her blood freely and the Link


EX: Scene 23: Action
Setting: Anti-ESS headquarters
Characters: Lex & top agents
Purpose: The plan to rescue Seit & Mindy – to destroy the ESS and recover the 5 coins
Plot: Lex stands over underground plans of the middle great pyramid. He is giving the plan to rescue Seit and Mindy – he is nervous – but sounds brave. He is dressed in Egyptian garb with two swords criss-crossed on his back. He has tattoos on his arms and legs. They load weapons and food on to camels – and ride out into the dark, cold night – no moon.
Related to 22/24? 22=Anti-ESS proves Brother is not trustworthy to Lex / 24=brother wounds Mindy / turns on Seit / not trustworthy
At stake? Losing Seit / Lex losing his life
Conflict? Lex vs. Brother = knowing what he’s capable of
Further the plot? Not sure? Maybe not a good chapter or might have to add more POV’s because this is the only one from Lex’s


INT:/EX: Scene 24: Dialogue / Action
Setting: interior great pyramid
Characters: Brother, Seit, Mindy – guards – dead parents & Uncle
Purpose: heighten tension Seit/Brother
Plot: Seit kneels at the alter. Brother holds knife ready – Seit places the Link into the slot. Brother cuts his palm then Seit’s. Their blood runs down the small pyramid – running over each symbol, coming together at the top point in a pool. The real pyramid rumbles and shakes. Statues come alive – and so does Seit’s parents and uncle. They rip their cloths off – but their eyes are dead – they are zombie-like – no soul. Seit screams – Brother has her shackled – Mindy runs toward them – brother throws his knife – hitting her in the chest. She goes down. Brother throws them both into underground jail.
Related to 23/25? 23=Shows that Lex’s rescue mission is too late, Seit already gave her blood freely / 25=Mindy dies from her wound
At stake? Trusting brother / going too far / Mindy / Seit’s own well being
Conflict? Seit vs. Mindy = Mindy tries to stop her / Seit vs. Brother = Brother wounds Mindy
Further the plot? Gives the bad guy what he wanted / Seit loses anther person she’s grown close to / everyone she loves dies


EX: Scene 25: Dialogue / Action
Setting: Jail Cell
Characters: Seit, Mindy, Guard
Purpose: more distress on Seit – show her cunning
Plot: Seit and Mindy are placed in separate cells. Mindy is unconscious and still bleeding. Guard is around Seit’s age – and kind of dumb. Seit gets him to allow her to see Mindy – give her time with her to find out how they were brought into the cell – Seit was knocked out by brother – but Mindy was awake – bleeding, but lucid. Seit even gets the guard to give her some water. Mindy wakes, but is going to die. Seit can tell because of a rabbit she once had as a pet, when it died in her arms. Mindy tells Seit what she remembers and then gives her a hidden gift – her knife. Mindy dies. Seit gets angry – she will fight. This is the fourth person to die because of her blood link. The guard readies to let her out, when she attacks – stabbing him, and then takes off.

Mindy lives, but hobbles on Seit’s arm = she falls and as the ESS guards grab them, Seit is snatched and tossed onto a camel = leaving Mindy behind and a battle with Anti-ESS guards

Related to 24/26? 24=Brother wounds Mindy / 26=Seit broke out of prison, using Mindy to fool the guard
At stake? Losing another friend / being caught or turned into a zombie herself / or going along with brother and losing herself
Conflict? Seit vs. Guard = getting him to let her see Mindy / Seit vs. Self = letting Mindy go and escaping
Further the plot? Shows how evil her “brother” is and that she must act against him or everyone will end up like her parents, uncle, and now Mindy



INT:/EX: Scene 26: Action
Setting: Tunnels of Great Pyramid
Characters: Seit, Chasing Guards, Anti-Ess character
Purpose: suspense
Plot: Seit is running down a long hallway covered in symbols – some Egyptian, some Indian – she sees the long green snake Mindy remembered, she knows she’s on the right path – she can hear the ESS guards echoing behind her – then wham – she is hit hard by a huge arm. Anti-ESS character has her in a bear hug – flashback to the bear and she knows to trust this guy – he runs with her – then scoops her up onto a camel – they gallop side by side – the ESS guards fire – Seit’s camel keeps running – there’s a group of camels on the ridge ahead – they return fire – Seit and Character are in the middle – dodging bullets – once the reach the group they all gallop away – miles go by and no one speaks or explains – they gallop toward a huge sand storm – and Seit thinks they will die – but the sand does not sting – and soon they are in the middle of a great palace.
Related to 25/27? 25=Seit used Mindy to escape and now is on the run / 27=Seit is in a new palace, still feeling out of touch, but she is treated with respect and authority here
At stake? Being caught / and being led into another psycho group that is on another side she does not know about
Conflict? Seit vs. Guards = chasing her and shooting / Seit vs. Anti-ESS guard = throws her on a camel
Further the plot? Now she has a chance to concur her brother and take back what is rightfully her bloodline / but does she want that? Does she believe in herself yet and who she is?


INT: Scene 27: Dialogue
Setting: Great Palace
Characters: Seit,  Anti-ESS head characters
Purpose: Explanations
Plot: Seit is brought into a room with a triangular table and men and women sitting, drinking, eating and talking. They hush when she enters – one even bows her way. Seit feels very odd – out numbered and scared. They start to explain who they are – who she is – and what they must do next to stop her brother. They show her the war plans – tell her how many soldiers they have ready to fight for her – and overwhelm her with decisions to make. Then they escort her to her room – the Queen suite – with jewels, gowns – and amazing views – servants, and flowers, perfumes and a pet monkey. People giggle and point as she walks by – she is so blond compared to everyone here. Children touch her hair – and are shooed away.
Seit wants to be told what to do / wants to be in art class again and be a kid with parents to look over her/ they put her in charge
Related to 26/28? 26=Escape with another group / 28=Seeing Lex helps her to feel some connection here / he is dressed and ready for war and accepts this fate / now she has to
At stake? Her old self / losing herself / still not fitting in / making the wrong decisions / getting others killed on her behalf
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = does she want this? Can she send people to their deaths? Is she strong enough?
Further the plot? Plans for war / molding her into the Queen she is

Scene 27.5: Action / Dialogue
Setting: Egyptian Palace / small hut that no one goes to
Characters: Seit & Egyptian Seer & Lex
Purpose: to give Seit courage / for her to see her mixture as a good thing not as what her brother said = weak thing
Plot: Added Scene = Egyptian Seer shows her how her Indian blood has enhanced her Egyptian blood / she can see things / she can do things / she is stronger because of the mix
Related to 27/28? She is finding out more and more about who she came from and where she is going / 28=feeling odd again, like an outsider but trying to believe
At stake? Being ruled by the Egyptian witch
Conflict? Seit vs. Lex = he does not want her to go / Seit vs. Witch = will she trust her enough
Further the plot? More understanding of who Seit is and how the two bloodlines have mixed to make her stronger

INT:/EX: Scene 28: Internal / Dialogue
Setting: Queen Suite – Seit’s Suite
Characters: Seit, Servants & Lex
Purpose: slow the pace / evolve Lex & Seit’s relationship
Plot: Seit is stripped – and bathed by servants. She feels self-conscience and weird about this. At first she tries to do it all herself – but they insist on helping. She is thinking about Lex and asking to see him. Speak of the Devil, he comes in. The servant girls try to shoo him out, but he comes right in. Seit is naked in the huge stone water basin and yells at him to shut his eyes. She gets out and is wrapped in a huge purple silk cloth to dry. She dresses in a white gown and then the servants leave them alone. Lex asks about Mindy – as he sees her bloody clothes. She breaks down and tells him everything. She does not want him to die on her behalf too. She forbids him to fight the next day – they argue and he leaves angry and says she is not his Queen and he does not have to listen to her – says she’s getting a big head. He storms out – leaving her broken – unsure of herself and not wanting to go to sleep.
not trusting Lex totally = ask about his past / he gets angry
Related to 27/29? 27=Seit not knowing what to do/ feeling out numbered and out of place / 29=Seit dressed for war / confident, but still wanting peace
At stake? Friendship with Lex / herself, who is she? / Being unsure
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = Is she the Queen / Seit vs. Lex = not wanting him harmed
Further the plot? Showing her more confident / clothes can help / Wanting to protect Lex, and maybe a flowering romance?


INT: Scene 29: Action
Setting: Great Palace Gates
Characters: Seit, Anti-ESS head characters, Lex
Purpose: up tension / ready for battle
Plot: Seit is dressed in war garb – given her small knife back along with two swords like Lex. She is put on top of the largest camel – dressed in gold and purple – Lex sits next to her – some random girl flirts with him – making Seit irritated – Lex laughs – the head AESS character gives a speech – Seit must say something – she turns red – then gets serious – everyone cheers and follows her into battle formation. They ride out of the sand storm, toward the Great Pyramids.
Related to 28/30? 28=Lex and her fight, but she gains more confidence from him and her clothes / 30=Lex wants to protect her now / brother seems to want peace too
At stake? Her life / Lex’s life / her people’s lives / not helping her parents, uncle and Mindy
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = can she do this? Can she start a war? / Seit vs. Les = he wants to protect her
Further the plot? War is going to happen / shows confidence in Seit


EX: Scene 30: Dialogue
Setting: Battle Ground / Brother’s Tent
Characters: Seit, AESS, Lex & Brother
Purpose: up tension between Brother & Seit / Show Lex likes Seit
Plot: Brother’s messenger delivers the message that Brother wants to speak with Seit alone. Seit believes she can change his mind – AESS does not want to let her go, but Lex sticks up for her. He will accompany her – but Seit says no – wounding his pride – he lets her go – then takes off without permission. He goes in with her into Brother’s tent – set up in the middle of the battle ground. Brother tries to convince Seit that she is greater than the AESS is allowing her to be. That she should be worshipped alongside him. That they should be wed and mix the bloodlines for the good of Egypt and their people. She tries to get him to stop this – to bring good to the world with the magic they can unlock – but he gets angry – Lex makes it worse – and the battle will occur.
Related to 29/31? 29=Seit and Lex getting along / confidence / 31=War begins with Seit’s charge / Brother out magics her
At stake? Friendship with Lex / Tie to brother / her life
Conflict? Seit vs. Lex = she does not want him to get hurt / Seit vs. Brother = will he listen to reason / Seit vs. Self = can she start a war
Further the plot? Brother refuses to back down / war is eminent


INT: Scene 31: Action
Setting: Battle in the Sands
Characters: Seit, Lex, AESS / ESS, Parents, Uncle
Purpose: kill off characters / show magic brother has
Plot: Seit leads the charge even thought the AESS does not want her in battle. She goes for her brother and wants to lay her parents and uncle to rest for good. Lex stays by her side. Brother’s warriors are made of sand – and when they are struck the return to the ground. Parents and Uncle stay by Brother’s side – they are strong and fast – and kill without caring. Seit makes her way toward them. But as she is ready to strike a killing blow to her father – Brother and her family disappear. brother’s jealousy of her mixed bloodline and takes Mindy to become his bride so they will have children with similar lines
End book.
Related to 30? 30=Seit makes the choice for the good of everyone
At stake? Dying / Lex’s life / Parents, Uncle, & Mindy zombies / Losing
Conflict? Seit vs. Self = ready for battle / Seit vs. Brother = in war / Seit vs. Zombie family members = can she kill them?
Further the plot? Gets ready for the next book / Brother disappears with his Zombies / others turn to sand / or become captures if truly human



Some more info on this outline. It took me a few more days than 2. I was on vacation in Costa Rica when I started to work on it, so I had to start and stop many time. But I think it's working for me. 

The lines in red ink are lines I added after completing the outline, and doing some research on Egyptian culture. I am in the middle of researching North American Indian culture and will be adding more ideas in blue ink.

I hope this challenge is helping all of you first time writers, or if you're like me, this is your second or third novel to write. I have to say writing this one, my second one, has proven much easier. 90 Days to Your Novel has helped me get more organized, and it's allowed me to think outside of the box I put myself in on my first novel. I'm actually thinking about going back and re-writing it this way....when I'm done with THE LINK.

Write~On
Angie