Exercises for the Introverted Writer
in an Extroverted Writing World
Hello, wonderful writers and creatives of all kinds!
Today, I'm writing about a topic I believe is close to many of our hearts - navigating the extroverted world of writing as an introvert. It's no secret that the writing industry, with its networking events, conferences, and the need for self-promotion, can feel a bit daunting for those of us who recharge in solitude.
But fear not!
Here are three powerful exercises to help you embrace your inner extrovert, while staying true to your introverted self.
1. The Power of Visualization
Before stepping into any social setting, practice the art of visualization. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, and imagine the upcoming event in detail. See yourself entering the room with a calm and confident demeanor. Visualize engaging in conversations, sharing your ideas about your latest project, and even laughing with fellow writers and industry professionals. This mental rehearsal primes your brain to handle real-life scenarios more confidently.
Visualization, a technique widely used in psychology, works by harnessing the power of our brain's ability to simulate experiences. When we vividly imagine an event before it happens, we're essentially prepping our brain to experience it, creating neural pathways similar to those created during the actual experience. This mental rehearsal can significantly reduce anxiety and increase confidence, as it familiarizes us with potential scenarios and outcomes.
Even extroverted athletes utilize this strategy to enhance their performance; by visualizing their success, they not only mentally prepare for the physical but also cultivate a positive and more confident mindset. This process of visualization taps into our emotions and our unique way of learning, helping to get our mental state in line with our desired outcomes, which improves our real-world performance in every situation, from athletic events to those dreaded social interactions. Oh, in case you didn't know, my background is psychology - I freaking love this stuff! And it works.
Exercise: Spend 10 minutes each night leading up to the event visualizing positive interactions right before you go off to sleep.
Set aside your phone, find a comfortable space, and let your body unwind. Gently close your eyes, and begin to visualize the upcoming event. Picture yourself well-prepared and brimming with confidence, effortlessly mingling within the crowd. Visualize making eye contact, engaging in conversations with ease, and articulating your project with eloquence and passion.
Acknowledge any nervous energy, and consciously channel it down through your body, grounding yourself firmly to the earth. Imagine yourself moving with a poised grace, breathing deeply and rhythmically. Embrace the realization that you are the architect of this moment.
Dedicate a few minutes each night to this practice, focusing on rich, detailed imagery. The more vivid your visualization, the more empowered and prepared you will feel for the actual event.
2. Script It Out
As introverts, spontaneous small talk isn't always our forte. A great strategy is to prepare a few conversation starters or talking points about your writing. This doesn't mean you script the entire conversation (which is impossible and will come off weird!), but having a few go-to topics can ease anxiety and open doors for genuine connections.
Attending a kidlit writers' conference is an exciting opportunity to connect with like-minded individuals who share your passion for children's literature.
Here are some effective conversation starters that can help you engage with fellow writers, illustrators, and industry professionals: Asking About Their Work: "What age group or genre do you specialize in within children's literature? I’d love to hear more about your work." Discussing Current Projects: "Are you currently working on any projects? I'm always interested in hearing what other kidlit writers are creating." Sharing Favorite Books: "What's your all-time favorite children's book? I'm always looking for new inspiration and would love to hear your recommendations." Inquiring About Their Journey: "How did you get started in children's literature? I find everyone’s path to kidlit fascinating." Talking About Conference Sessions: "Have you attended any interesting sessions or workshops today? I'm curious about what others have found valuable." Discussing Industry Trends: "What trends in children's literature have you been excited about lately?" Sharing Challenges and Solutions: "What's the biggest challenge you've faced as a kidlit writer, and how have you overcome it?" Asking About Illustrations: "If they’re an illustrator: How do you approach illustrating for children's books? I'm always amazed at how illustrations bring stories to life." Networking Opportunities: "Do you know of any good kidlit writing groups or online communities? I'm always looking to connect with more writers and illustrators." Offering Compliments: "I really enjoyed your [article, book, presentation, etc.]. Could you tell me more about how it came together?" These conversation starters are designed to open up a dialogue that is both engaging and relevant to the world of children's literature, allowing for meaningful connections and exchanges of ideas. Remember, most attendees are there for similar reasons as you – to learn, network, and share their passion for kidlit.
Exercise: Write down three topics related to your writing or interests in the literary world. Practice these in front of a mirror, with a friend, or even record yourself to gain confidence in your delivery.
3. Mindful Breathing for Grounding
Introverts often feel overwhelmed in crowded or noisy environments. A quick and effective way to regain your composure is through mindful breathing. This technique helps ground you in the present moment and calms the nervous system.
Exercise: Practice the 4-7-8 breathing technique. Breathe in for 4 seconds, hold the breath for 7 seconds, and exhale slowly for 8 seconds. Do this for a few minutes each day and whenever you need a quick reset at events.
Feeling overwhelmed can disconnect you from the present moment and your physical self. Here are three more effective methods to help you reconnect with your body and regain a sense of calm:
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: This technique involves tensing and then relaxing each muscle group in your body, one at a time. Start from your toes and work your way up to your head or vice versa. As you focus on each muscle, breathe in deeply as you tense, hold for a few seconds, and then breathe out as you release the tension. This process not only helps to relieve physical tension but also brings your attention back to your body. Mindful Movement or Gentle Exercise: Engaging in gentle, mindful movement, such as yoga, tai chi, or simply going for a walk, can help ground you in your body. Pay attention to each movement, how your feet touch the ground, how your arms move through the air, and the rhythm of your breath. This connection with your body’s movements can help center your mind and reduce feelings of overwhelm. Sensory Engagement: Use your senses to anchor yourself in the present. This can be done through techniques like holding a piece of ice and focusing on the sensation, taking a warm bath or shower and feeling the water on your skin, or engaging in a taste-focused activity like slowly eating a piece of fruit or a favorite treat.
I use fidget spinners for my anxiety. I keep one in my pocket or on a necklace. When I feel overwhelmed, I click or spin the gadget. It helps me come back to my body, as I tend to leave it when I am stressed. This often causes me to lose parts or whole conversations - never a great thing to have happen at a conference or chatting with an agent.
Pay attention to what you see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. This sensory input can be very effective in bringing your awareness back to the here and now. Each of these techniques works by redirecting your focus away from overwhelming thoughts and back to your physical being, helping to calm your mind and reestablish a sense of grounding and presence in your body.
Putting Yourself Out There
Armed with these exercises, you're ready to step into the writing world with newfound confidence. Remember, being an introvert has its own set of superpowers – deep thinking, empathy, and a rich inner world, all of which are invaluable in the creative industry. Embrace these qualities, and use the exercises to help bridge the gap.
A Reminder
Some Great Qualities of Introverts are:
Reflective and Thoughtful: Introverts are often deeply reflective and think things through thoroughly before speaking or acting. This can lead to more well-considered decisions and insights. Good Listeners: Introverts tend to be excellent listeners, which is a valuable skill in all types of relationships. They often process what is being said more deeply and offer thoughtful responses. Deep Concentration: Introverts usually have the ability to focus deeply on tasks for extended periods. This can make them great at handling complex tasks that require sustained attention. Independent: Many introverts are comfortable working independently and do not need constant interaction or approval from others. This independence can be a significant asset in both personal and professional settings. Observant: Introverts often have a keen eye for detail and may notice subtleties that others overlook. Their observational skills can provide valuable insights in various situations. Creative and Innovative: The introspective nature of introverts often fuels creativity and innovation. They can be imaginative thinkers who bring unique perspectives to problems and projects. Empathetic and Understanding: Introverts can be highly empathetic, capable of deep understanding and connection with others' feelings. This empathy can make them great friends, partners, and team members. Calm and Composed: In chaotic or high-pressure situations, introverts often maintain a calm and composed demeanor, which can be reassuring to those around them. Self-Aware: Introverts tend to be introspective, leading to high self-awareness. This self-knowledge can be powerful in personal growth and development. Loyal and Committed: When introverts commit to a relationship, project, or cause, they often do so with deep dedication and loyalty, making them reliable and trustworthy individuals.
Meeting Your Agent, Mingling at Conferences, Connecting with Peers
When it comes to finding an agent or mingling at conferences, the key is to start small. Focus on making just one or two meaningful connections rather than trying to meet everyone. I used to think talking to everyone was what I was supposed to do at conferences. Then I'd go home and not remember anyone.
Quality over quantity is your mantra. And don't forget, many industry professionals appreciate the depth and thoughtfulness that introverts bring to the table.
So, remember that your voice is essential and needed in the literary world. Industry professionals want to connect with you. You are valid and what you have to say is worthy, but you must get over your fears and speak up. With a bit of preparation and self-care, you can navigate this extroverted space while staying true to your introverted core.
Happy Writing and Mingling!
~write-on
Angie
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