Monday, May 8, 2023

Interview with Tine, Bastian Gregory's Mother on Aboard the Time Line




KidLit ALERT!

Interview with 

Bastian Gregory's Mother

Honoring Her Son's Life & Legacy Book

Aboard the Time Line



This is a unique interview, one that many times has brought tears to my eyes. Meet Tine, Bastian's mother and biggest cheerleader of his book and his legacy. Bastian was a beautiful young man but unfortunately succumbed to his illnesses of depression and Aspergers only a few weeks before his book was accepted for publication. 

If you or someone you know is suffering, please don't go quiet. Ask for the help you need, and deserve. You are worthy of love and compassionate guidance. Let's hold Bastian's family in our hearts as we read about this young writer and the creative life he lived for a short time here on Earth. 

Tine hopes to keep his spirit alive through his book and school visits to work with kids to open their creativity in his honor. 

 


Hello, Tine.

The name of Bastian's book is Aboard the Time Line. How did the name come about? What is its significance?


Bastian considered several names. Outermind was one of the first ones, and then he asked friends, family, and kids – and overall, we all agreed that it was best that the title would give a more clear view of what the book might be about.



Your son was a writer and also had Aspergers Syndrome and suffered from depression. How did that affect his writing? 


The book took him nearly 2 years to write because of the depression. He started the first 5 chapters and then had to put it aside for about 9 months as he could simply not do anything. The positive thing was that that gave me some time to air those chapters with others, and all had positive reactions. The sad thing is that both for someone suffering from depression and Aspergers, it is often almost impossible for others to bring them out on the positive side. Bastian was convinced it was rubbish and that he was no good, and it was very hard to convince him otherwise-even when professionals around him told him he had great talent. Even his University professors told him and us what great talent he had- sadly, that could not bring him the happiness/solidity that he craved.







Unfortunately, he succumbed to depression and chose to leave this world. Why do you want to promote the book for him? 


This is a difficult question and one I have asked myself many times. I am not entirely sure, but I think the closest I can come to an answer is that this way; 


I feel I have a positive and legitimate way to think of Bastian every day 

and a way for the world to not forget him. 


I have spoken to a few other people whose children have died prematurely, and I think we are all worried that we will not remember them enough. In addition, I feel blessed that he did leave something like the book behind, and somehow I feel that it is important, therefore that I do all I can to ensure it gets out there.


What do you think Bastian would think about his book being published? What did he hope readers would get out of reading his work? 


We found out about the book being published 

2 weeks after his death. 


I could not stop crying. I kept thinking, “What if that could have made him happy? What if that could have shown him what a wonderful person he was? What if that could have kept him alive?”


…However, as May and Luke, his siblings, said to me- “Mum, you know that would not have been enough. Bastian did not believe in himself, no matter what”. 


So to answer- I think he would have been proud, but I also think he would not have found it enough. Bastian loved timeline travel books and essentially loved happy endings, and I am sure he would love for children to find inspiration and happiness through the book. He was an incredibly thoughtful and philosophical young man (and already as a child), so his comments throughout the book would have been made in the hope that others could benefit from them in a lighthearted way. When he was feeling well, he was also funny and sunny. He could light up a whole room- and be incredibly entertaining.


He also has a collection of poems…will those be published?  


I would like to have his poems published one day- I just don’t know how to go about this. They are adult poems, very dark- and deal much more with death/what is beyond/life, and worries about our planet. Amazing- some of them are difficult to understand. I will do this one day- right now, my focus is on the book.


Here is one of the poems. We (the family) read this loud at his funeral and have used the last lines to describe Bastian in the prologue:


Stardust regicide


Burn this body and scatter the ashes to the fields


If I cannot rule the earth, the stars will be my kingdom


A solitude land, A peaceful non-existence


A reincarnation as a cosmic tree


No room for thoughts, just exist and let be


With solar winds and alien doves rushing through my branches

 


What is Aboard the Time Line about?


It's the story of a bored boy... Pete, who doesn't find anything 

interesting at school. One day he becomes so bored, and time 

stands still, and he escapes to Outermind. Here he befriends 

various living beings in different worlds and, along the way, 

becomes aware of a constant conflict going on in these 

different lands. Ultimately, Pete is asked to make a difference, 

and the question is whether he is up to the task. 

 

Anyone who has a passion for words and wordplay will enjoy 

reading “Aboard the Timeline” In this wonderful children’s book, 

Bastian takes us on an adventure with his main 

character Pete, a young boy who at first seems to be lost (in

many more ways than one!) but who ultimately finds his way 

together with the help of his companions, the lovely dinosaur


Reginald and the ancient Greek thinker, Philosophocles

Bastian manages to keep the reader engaged page after 

page with clever puns and witty plays on words, which makes 

his story even more entertaining.

 



As Bastian’s mother and on school visits, how do you talk about why he’s no longer with us to the kids?


It really depends on the age group, but my strong belief is that it is good to talk about these things. 


I do, however, not make this the focus of the talks! So, for the younger children, I just say that he died and not how. If they ask in detail, I say that he was incredibly sad and that it was like an illness. 


For the older kids, I can go into further details and will say that he took his own life after many years of suffering. Interestingly the older kids nod their heads but do not ask any further questions. I have also, at times, said that as he was Aspergers that it was doubly hard, as he often did not want to talk about why he was so sad, and therefore it was harder for him to let people in to help him.

 

You are developing teaching material to go along with the book. What do you hope kids will get out of it? 


I just realize from my book talks that there are so many aspects in this book that a teacher could use to intertwine interesting learning in a fun way. And I am a true believer in making learning as fun as possible. So, in this book, there is a lot of advanced vocabulary for the age group it is aimed at, but I have found all the kids I have talked to (even down to 6 years) LOVE learning those words when they are in a “cool book” that they have to read. And then there are the philosophical questions – the kids love it. So we have talked about what Philosophy actually means and also found those sections. 

 

Examples from the book:

A place where there are no angles? “What would it look like?”

pg. 13- “If I am going mad, I might as well enjoy it”

pg. 20- He suppose all times had places within them..or did all places have times within them?

Pg. 75- About doing good?

Pg. 72 What a city might look like if logic had gone on holiday

 

 

You do not have a website for the book. Do you think you will have one soon? How do readers find out about the book and where you will be speaking next? 


This is where I realize I am a total novice. I didn’t even know I would need a website. So far, I have written a flyer to the schools to let them know which bookshops they could purchase on Amazon and another online Danish bookshop. Essentially I am guiding buyers to Amazon- but where I can to the independent bookshops who have reacted to my reaching out to them.

 


Did Bastian have an agent for this book? 


I am afraid that we did not get an agent. It was me doing all the marketing, and all I did was write directly to publishers. This was probably a big mistake and is also the reason I am not getting much support. And no, I am not working with the agent. Every time I ask for help, they come up with reasons they cannot-  so I am doing everything myself. This is also why it will take some time with the poems. I am not yet sure how I would develop the teaching materials.



You said Bastian’s sister, May, is an artist and an illustrator. Will she be illustrating any other books? 


May has, in the meantime, taken up learning to become a teacher. She finished her Bachelor of Marketing at University in the UK last year and then moved back to Denmark, where she is now studying. She wants to be a maths and English teacher- with art as her third subject. She wants to continue all her various art projects on the side- as a hobby.


May and Luke are Bastian's siblings: How are they creative? I know May has her own Instagram site at @Maymakesthings 


I would say May has a whimsical, incredibly personal, and happy style. She loves drawing and is still very much exploring different genres and styles. What is fun is that she is not conventional- I recently asked her to do a painting for my new home- and she came up with a tilted bowl. At the same time, she has promised her younger brother, Luke, to paint on his guitar. (he is musically artistic- and has written several songs as odes to Bastian)- even managed to get on the Harry Mack radio show, where they talked about Bastian- pretty amazing!!!




How have May and Luke dealt with their brother’s passing and the book being published? 



Bastian was 23 when he died. May was 21, and Luke was 19. Both May and Luke were devastated but reacted in very different ways. May withdrew into herself. She reacted more like her father. Luke reacted more like me- crying on /off- talking about it lots and lots. And trying to juggle 4 different reactions is very difficult. 


It also meant that May could not continue with the illustrations for a while – she was too emotional. It was not until 9 months later when we had to finalize the book, that I managed to sit down with her and make the final adjustments. I think both children find the book a hard thing.


If I gave you a megaphone and the whole world would listen - what one sentence would you shout? 


Love the concept- 


“ Be happy, see the bright side, 

and remember you only have 

this one life to live”



Who is your biggest cheerleader? 


My husband- although not with the book. I am sadly the only one with the book as my project. The others find this too painful, so that can feel a bit lonesome, but I do understand. And I think it is especially important for the 4 of us to be allowed to grieve in our separate individual ways.


What was Bastian’s process in creating this book? How did he come up with the idea? Did he outline? 


Bastian had an idea in his head for a while, and he said that he had several more ideas for other books in the series. I think he found it incredibly easy to come up with his whacky ideas. 


He first had the idea of the boy- then he did an outline in terms of the countries he wanted to involve. And then, we tested the first 5 chapters on some kids and others that we knew. As I mentioned earlier, he then sadly had a nearly 9-month lapse- and then came back to write the rest of the book quite fast.


What have you learned about publishing and writing now that this book is published? 


I have realized that we know NOTHING. And that I should have approached agents and also done a lot more pre-work. In my defense, I can say I was using all my energy on trying to cajole Bastian to stay alive. Despite failing in this, I am blessed that we had so much time together- and that he was so loving and caring. We had some very meaningful times together, even as late as the day before his death. 


And we know he loved the 4 of us.


On Amazon, Aboard the Time Line has a 5-star review….why do you think readers are responding to this work? 


I think it is a good positive piece of work. I believe it is good-quality writing. Strong vocabulary/good-paced storyline- and some incredibly likable characters. I also think it does not get too scary for the younger readers- and… I think grown-ups are also able to get a little giggle in along the way.


What would you like readers to know about Bastian? 


That he was a fun, loving, wonderful boy, and the same as an adult, sadly started developing depression as a 15-year-old as he felt increasing difficulty trying to fit in. The sad thing is that none of us really ever think we fit in, but most of us are able to live with that, but Bastian could somehow not shake that feeling, along with a growing sadness about the world. He also suffered from Sensory overload- which is quite normal for people with autism, which means that he could find many things about life too much.


Where will you be next on your school visits or author talks? 


I will be going to Denmark’s largest International School. Also very happy to come to schools in other countries when and if possible.


What comparable books are there for Aboard the Time Line? 


The Phantom Tollbooth- Bastian’s all-time favorite- and one he definitely drew inspiration from.




You are running Facebook and Instagram pages for this book - is that time-consuming? How do you manage it and all the other responsibilities you have? 


It is very time-consuming, and as with everything else in this book, a steep learning curve for me. I have promised myself and my husband that I will continue to do this as long as I am enjoying it and as long as it gives me a feeling of achievement.



What advice would you give to parents with kids who are experiencing depression? 


Oh, where to start? And with the knowledge that every case is so different? 


In general- I think the most important is to 

keep a dialogue going. 


And also to take expectations off the table. By that, I mean if your child says that they cannot continue at Uni/school - whatever, etc., then listen! Support them- get professional help.  Try and build up interests/hobbies… go for walks with them (if you can get them out). And sometimes think radical. 


I wish towards the end that I could have whisked Bastian away and thought radically- like living in the forests far away from anything for a while…. To maybe rebuild… but sometimes, there also has to be an acceptance that options are limited.


How did you move beyond the trauma and into the healing and then the creativity of promoting Bastian’s book? 


It took time- which is the reason I did not really start all this work until about 6 months ago. I was not in a place where I had the energy. The first year was horrendous- I will not lie. We are now 3 years on- and things are easier. I will not say that the pain ever goes away, but it is dulled. And my memories of Bastian cannot be taken from me.



How can the reading community help you and your family support this book? 


I would love for people to purchase the book and help me promote it and get it out there. And I would also like to say that I have no interest in the income- I had just not realized to say it out loud. I will be finding a charity that focuses on loneliness and despair amongst young people and donating all proceeds of book sales to this. I already work with a foundation that supports this- and am, over the coming months, going to hone in on one to pass on the proceeds of sales from Aboard the Timeline.





What are a few of Bastian’s favorite things? 


Bastian loved: Books, books, Books- World of Warcraft/Dungeons & Dragons/ MacDonalds/Sushi/ Danish salami/waterskiing, and skiing- he was great at wakeboarding and snowboarding. 


He loved to discuss philosophy.


Do you think Bastian is proud of his work left here on Earth? 


I really hope so- he was so harsh on himself that I am not sure, but we would have told him again and again. 


What would he say about his book being read and talked about at schools? 


I think he would be chuffed to pieces but would not dare say it out loud. He simply did not understand how many people loved him. After his death, we had a lot of people write us to let us know what a difference he had made in their lives.


Is there one question that no one’s asked you that you’d like to ask yourself? 


How could such a lovely, talented, kind, funny young man not understand how wonderful he was? Why did he have to have this illness? Why could we not help him? …. I suspect this is very much what others in similar situations to ourselves have felt- and it seems there is just no answer. 


But if there is anything I can do to help others in this situation, I will be doing my best to help!! This is the direction I will be focusing more and more on going forward.











Wow! Thank you, Tine. This interview really touched my heart, and I am forever grateful for your work out there in the world in honor of your son - Bastian Gregory, 2020.


I applaud your support of your son, even after he has left the Earth. You are a wonderful, compassionate being and mother. Love to your family on the continuous path of healing and acceptance. 


If you would like to support Bastian's family - here are the ways to do that:


Bastian Gregory Instagram

Amazon Book Purchase 



**Know that you are NOT alone in this world. There are people you haven't even met yet that want to know you and friend you and support you.**




As always, if you would like an interview - please reach out.

Email me @ angazur @ gmail.com

Angie on Instagram 








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