Eric Elfman - Genius Writing Coach

Okay - So I've racked up 6 rejections on REDWOOD BLOOD. I know that's not a lot and in fact two of them were very nice, personal rejections. One actually asked me to send other work. Those are good signs on the road to publication. But still, I am a perfectionist and so 6 rejections got me revising. Or so I thought.

I knew I needed to go deeper and not just redo some lines and change choice words. I needed something, something big, something different, something I could not see for myself. My critique group had already done their job, and helped me greatly, so I decided to get a new set of eyes to read my first few chapters. It had to be someone I admired, someone I liked personally, and someone who got my way of writing. I am not flowery. I am not emotional. I am strong and to the point.

I sat, gazing out of my office window, thinking about this. I knew I had met someone a few months ago -- what was his name? He was cool. He led one of the critique groups at Big Sur. He was brutally honest, which I admire. And his name popped into my head - ERIC ELFMAN. I emailed him. He remembered me. Good.

I explained my situation, that I had 6 rejections, 2 very personal. I attached those in my email. He agreed for a small fee to check out my first 4 chapters. I sent them and waited. I got a quick email back that he had received them, but he was working with another writer and would be getting back to me within two weeks.

I kept writing in the meantime - tweaking, revising (so I thought). Then I got an email asking when he could call me to go over my chapters. Anytime, I answered. We set up a time for the next day. And when he called, I jumped for the phone.

On the line, Eric is just as funny, just as brutally honest and just as brilliant. We chatted, and by that I mean, he pretty much spoke and I devoured for over 2 1/2 hours. I took notes - 11 hand written pages in total. And I learned A LOT! When I thought I was revising, I was merely tapping the surface with my fingernail. I hadn't really gotten in there. I hadn't really amped things up.

We finished the call on a positive note. The plot peaked his interest. He's into some of the characters, but where I thought I had explosions, I needed to add nuclear missiles. I took a deep breath. I really thought it could have gone two ways. One - OMG this is ready for publication! or Two - this sucks, so hang it up. But it went a Third way: this is good, but not great - it needs to be great - you can make it great - do the work!!

I've been doing the work this past month. I have been really revising for the first time. I have switched from 3rd person to 1st. I have deleted whole scenes. I have written side pages about each character just so I know them better. I have added bombs, missiles, and sneak explosions. I am doing the work and getting closer.

Eric's honesty and suggestions have pushed me to be a better writer. Here are a few of his tips in the hopes that it helps you become a better writer too:

• Ground your real world more solidly: use smells, food, clothes
• MG needs to be contemporary - need to see computers, cell phones, etc
• Justify why your MC is thinking about things
• Escalate scenes of tension (you might think they're already amped up, but you can spike them.)
• Milk your action moments
• Slow down creepy parts so the reader gets creeped out
• No jumping into other characters - unless you've established this early on
• Don't go too academic - be sure every description is from your MC's POV
• Always keep things happening - moving forward - no dull scenes

Now I've seen similar tips in writer's magazines as well as other blogs - but what Eric did was take each of my scenes and explain what was or wasn't working using these points. It was like having an editor with great ideas helping me write. 

I am so thankful. I am so glad I had the extra bucks to invest in his critique. And I so recommend him to you if you think you are ready to send your ms out to agents/publishers. 

Here is his contact website: http://www.ericelfmancoaching.com/

Good luck and keep moving forward.

Project Plan 1b: O is for Outline

Answer these questions to create a stronger foundation for your story.

• Narrator: 1st person? 3rd? detached narrator?
• P.O.V. - does it switch? Or stay close to the MC?
• Tense - Past or Present?
• Setting - Where? When?
• Timelines - What is the time constraint? What is moving the story from A to B? 
• Tone - Simple? Complex? Straightforward? Open? Closed?
• Major Conflict - What is your MC's major conflict - the main one
• Minor Conflicts - Man vs. Self? Man vs. Man? Man vs. Nature? Man vs. Fate? Man vs. Society?
• Rising Action - Leading up to the climax
• Climax - When does everything change for your MC?
• Falling Action - Coming down from the big change
• Themes:

1. The Great Journey - a series of episodic adventures
2. Loss of Innocence - coming of age
3. The Noble Sacrifice - for anyone, a loved one, an enemy, a group
4. The Great Battle - people or groups of people in conflict
5. Fall From Grace - doing something God should do = always followed by misfortune
6. Love and Friendships - romantic love or buddy films
7. Fate - from good to bad or bad to good / some other force is guiding the mc
8. Revenge - bitter sweet
9. Trickery - a group or person tricks someone into doing something
10. Mystery - something unexplained happens

You might also want to consider what script writer's consider when developing a movie script:

• What is sellable in this book? Products? Can they sell a wand? A mug? A t-shirt from it?
• Product tie-ins? Are there any major companies that might back this book if they have a tie in to sell their product? Type of car the mc drives? Type of drink? Toy or electronics the mc uses or wants?

This may seem like a huge task, but I promise you, if you understand these questions about your novel, it will be easier to create and write and revise. 

Write~on

Angie

Project Plan

When a story creeps into your creative mind you must lay a strong foundation for it to build upon. To do this, create a Project Plan:

plan |plan|

noun

1 a detailed proposal for doing or achieving something : the UN peace plan.

• [with adj. ] a scheme for the regular payment of contributions toward a pension, savings account, or insurance policy : a personal pension plan.

2 (usu. plans) an intention or decision about what one is going to do : I have no plans to retire.

3 a detailed diagram, drawing, or program, in particular

• a fairly large-scale map of a town or district : a street plan.

• a drawing or diagram made by projection on a horizontal plane, esp. one showing the layout of a building or one floor of a building. Compare with elevation (sense 3).

• a diagram showing how something will be arranged : look at the seating plan.

First begin with asking the questions: WHY? HOW? WHO? WHERE? WHAT? WHAT IF?

Next create a diagram with words like: TITLE, GENRE, TIMELINE, AUDIENCE, GENRE, MAIN CHARACTER(S), PROTAGONIST(S), SETTING, PLOT, ORIGINATION OF IDEA, MARKET, COMPLICATION(S), ORIGINAL IDEAS/NEVER DONE BEFORS, and of course add some more of your own making.

A sample plan might look like this:

WORKING TITLE: REDWOOD BLOOD

WHO? Ben Corbin - turning 13, but believes his blood is cursed. 

WHY? Ben’s father goes missing, and he thinks it’s the curse. He goes into the dark woods to find him.

WHERE? Redwoods, California

WHAT HAPPENS? Ben gets caught by woodland creatures (some evil some good) - beings of the woods, hidden for centuries. They send him on a treasure hunt. 

WHAT IF? If Ben finds the treasure, he becomes the Heir to the Trees, if not, then he will become enslaved by the evil woodlands. 

HOW? Ben’s X-friend insults him, then said X-friend’s Grandmother goes nuts, hits herself an blames Ben. Ben fleas into the woods, vowing to find his father.

GENRE: Middle-Grade- Action/Adventure/Fantasy

AUDIENCE: 9 - 13 year-olds

SETTING: Old Growth Redwood Groves Present Day

ORIGINATION OF IDEA: 2006 - visit to Muir Woods

MARKET: Fantasy lovers/Nature lovers/Young people

This is the foundation of my novel, REDWOOD BLOOD. Name have changed from the original idea, but it has remained pretty true to the first idea. And this Project Plan has helped me stay on course.

I hope this has helped you and good luck to all you writers!